Monogamy is defined as a relationship in which you only have one partner (sexual or romantic or both) at a time. It’s always been associated with a traditional, romantic relationship – but today, other types of relationships are becoming more common. Whether it’s polygamy or being part of a throuple, modern forms of dating aren’t considered as taboo as they used to be.
Because of this, many people start to wonder if traditional monogamy is right for them. While less conventional relationships aren’t for everyone, neither are monogamous ones. Everyone has different needs and ways of feeling fulfilled, and if monogamy isn’t right for you, that’s okay! (And if it is, that’s great too.)
If you’re still a little unsure, here are 8 signs that a monogamous relationship might not be the best fit:
1. You Are an Introvert Dating an Extrovert
It can be tough keeping up with an avid socializer when you’re an introvert. (Not to mention, exhausting.) If you’re not meeting each other’s needs or aren’t on the same page when it comes to your social calendar, a polyamorous relationship might be beneficial. Your partner can pursue other relationships while you get some much-needed alone time.
Of course, you both need to be open to the arrangement. If you’re not okay with your partner seeing other people outside of the relationship, then monogamy might actually be the best fit – you’re just with the wrong person.
2. You Are an Extrovert With a Big Heart
We are in no way saying all extroverts are better suited for non-monogamous relationships; however, if you’re interested in an unconventional arrangement, your personality is a perfect fit!
Someone who is extroverted may be excited about the idea of pouring their heart and energy into multiple relationships. While many are perfectly happy in monogamous relationships, others are always looking to meet and explore relationships with new people. If that’s the case, monogamy might not be the right option for you.
3. You Can Handle Challenging Emotions
As we’ve established, non-monogamous relationships are not for everyone, and that is especially true for those who are naturally jealous or insecure. A polyamorous or three-person relationship requires a lot of vulnerability and open-mindedness to make it work, and that can be tough if you’re uncomfortable with it.
What’s more, a less traditional relationship may come with a lack of support from friends or family members. Balancing your happiness with the challenging emotions that can arise is no easy task, but if you’re able to handle it, you’ll come out stronger and more secure.
4. You Love to Share
This one may seem pretty obvious, but it’s necessary to address. Sharing is at the core of any non-monogamous relationship, so you not only need to be okay with it, you need to love it! Relationships that are polyamorous require sharing with multiple partners – would you be able to handle that and truly be okay with it? If so, you can probably say goodbye to monogamy.
5. You Are good at communication
Non-monogamous relationships cannot survive without good communication. You’ll have to talk about your needs, what you’re comfortable with, and any difficult emotions you might be feeling. It’s also important to clearly lay out all the “terms” of your relationship, and without properly communicating it, someone is bound to get hurt.
6. If You Are Not Straight
If you are attracted to multiple different gender identities, it may be difficult to feel completely fulfilled in a conventional monogamous relationship. While some people with bisexual or pansexual sexual identities are totally fine committing to one partner, others may not be, which opens the door to other types of relationships. It’s also a great way to explore your sexuality if you’re still a little unsure.
7. You Are Unfulfilled in Monogamous Relationships
If you have never experienced a less traditional relationship but have never been satisfied with monogamy either, it might be time to consider other options. For so long, the status quo has been to find a partner, settle down, get married and start a family. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, it’s not meant for everyone! Polyamory is more about exploring different relationships with different people, rather than focusing on a permanent one. If that sounds more appealing to you, then why not give it a shot?
8. You Need to Feel Connected With Multiple People
At the end of the day, non-monogamous relationships boil down to one key desire – a connection with multiple people. If you need a little work on your sharing or communication skills, that’s okay! If you’re fully committed to making polyamory work, you’ll find a way to improve. If you’re drawn to the idea of multiple partners (whether it’s casual sexual partners in addition to your main squeeze, or being a part of a throuple) and would rather make up the rules as you go, it might be time to step away from monogamy.
Remember, your relationship is just that – yours. It’s up to you to decide what makes you happy, and if it’s monogamy, great! If it’s polyamory, great! Everyone seeks fulfillment in different ways, and no matter which type of relationship you choose, just be sure it provides the satisfaction you deserve.